Wow great chapter, I can't think of anything bad about it except of few words miss-spelled.

Danke! Could you tell me which ones? I'll fix 'em in a jiffy.

I'm very pickey about speling.

I did a spell check on my PC and it didn't come up with any so I must've just not seen some letters, I'm gonna go shooting with my bro so I gotta go.

Ah, well thanks for trying to help me.

Have fun!

I loved the story as far as the storyline went, but I think that as far as writing went, it was poorly thought-out and a bit repetitive. Did you read through it again before you posted it?

Several times actually. "When I write, I go with the flow, man. You let the, like, spirit of your pen move your spirit, man."

Which parts do you want to critique? I'm all ears!

I sincerely doubt you've been bashed in the head with a multipound wood and metal firearm.

When they get angry enough... And I've found those mean old ladies like antiques.

Seriously, back on topic, the next chapter of mine will be about Johannes again. Looking forward to Oreo's next addition, too.

Wow....... I wish I could write this good......

Hah, thanks. Keep trying! While I'm very critical still of my own writing, I would really suck if I didn't keep trying.